05/12/2008

Barb Haley: showing us how it's done

Playing With The Boys Why Girls Freeride?

"To meet guys of course!" That's my automatic response every time I'm asked the question, "So, why do you ride?" On the trails, in the bike park, or at the dirt jumps, I can't seem to resist throwing out that tongue-in-cheek answer; I only hope the person asking realises I'm kidding.

So why do we really do it? If you ask the guys, most of their replies sound somewhat like this, "well, girls ride for the same reasons we do; an adrenaline rush, a chance to hang out with and meet new friends, to keep fit, to get out into nature….you know…..to have a good time." While I agree, those are all part of the appeal, I think, for a girl, its something more; riding gives us back our freedom.

Sure we live in North America, a land of equality and women's rights, but that's not the kind of freedom I'm talking about. Although we have the freedom to do and be whatever we want, most women I know live restricted by fear, and many times, don't even realise it.

I think it has to do with the caution we are raised to have as little girls. "Carry a cellphone," "Never walk alone at night," and "Don't talk to strangers," are some of the very first lessons I learned. With it came an unspoken understanding that the world can be a very dangerous place for a girl.

I remember being so angry that my brother was allowed to stay out much later than I was; I was jealous of his freedom. My parent's always wanted to know where I was going, who I was going with, and when I was coming home. I don't resent their caring or their protectiveness, and now that I'm older I understand why they wanted me to be careful. But, I also see how, once I began to make my own choices, I adopted their caution as an unconscious part of my own thinking.

Then, in my early twenties, I discovered riding, and with it, something I hadn't expected, an unplanned escape from fear. Somehow, being on my bicycle made me brave; I became a risk taker, and a bold explorer.

At first, only little things in my life changed, and all directly related to riding. For instance, I'm essentially a small town girl and I would rarely go into downtown Vancouver, It felt too foreign, too big, and too intimidating for one girl to explore on foot. And now, suddenly, there I was, cruising the streets after dark, bold and unafraid. The old ingrained fears were still there; that small part of my brain still whispered how dangerous it was to ride alone at night in the city. But, I didn't care - I felt so free.

The same thing happened when I started taking drops, doing jumps, and riding steeper, scarier lines. Each time I faced that fearful moment and beat it, I felt braver and stronger than I ever thought was possible. Of course, sometimes I crashed…..ok, a lot of the time I crashed, but even then, there's a sense of accomplishment in survival and in finding the courage to keep riding and try again.

Kelli Sherbinin jumping at Myrtle Park
Photo: Jason Manchester

After awhile, I began to notice the freedom I found on my bike began to affect other aspects of my life. I started thinking as though each new challenge was just another drop or sketchy line to navigate. I'd wonder, "what's the worst that could happen? - if I crash, at least I gave it a try". At work, at home, in friendships, even in relationships, I found myself taking risks and chances that I would have avoided before out of fear.

And I'm not the only one who feels this way. Once I realised how much riding was changing my life, I started polling the girls I knew who rode, and the answers were shockingly similar.

"I love the smell of the woods and the smell of fear (my own) when I sketch out on something or try something new . . . I can't imagine not riding. It's helped me get through law school, my mom's death, numerous breakups, and existential angst. It's part of who I am, not just something that I do." - Muddygrl (from the NSMB.com bulletin board)

Sure, I've crashed, on and off the bike. But the freedom that has come from no longer being afraid to try has been more than worth it. Now, instead of moving hesitantly through life worrying about what threats or obstacles were waiting to jump out and drag me down, I fly at it with momentum and confidence, eagerly looking to the next challenging line. Life has become an adventure.

I wish I could talk all of my female friends into riding so they could experience the community, the adrenaline, the epic treks into the woods, and all the awesome memories you create each and every time you jump on your bike. But more importantly, I wish they could, if only for a few moments, understand what it's like to conquer fear and feel completely free.

"I'll tell you what I think of bicycling. I think it has done more to emancipate women than any one thing in the world. I rejoice every time I see a woman ride by on a bike. It gives her a feeling of self-reliance and independence the moment she takes her seat; and away she goes, the picture of untrammelled womanhood." - Susan B. Anthony 1896

Words by Trisha Petrella
Email your comments/questions to: gidget at nsmb.com