A Dedicated Follower Of Fashion

“His world is built 'round discotheques and parties
This pleasure-seeking individual always looks his best
'Cause he's a dedicated follower of fashion”

Slave to Fashion?

I had it in my mind to start this piece off with a different snatch of lyrics from The Kinks, because in my mind I had it that “Dedicated Follower of Fashion” and “Well Respected Man” were the same song. Turns out they couldn’t be more diametrically opposed. Which, in an ironic twist, mirrors my own bipolar feelings regarding this piece I am about to write. Therefore, I need to preface this with several disclaimers.

One: This is a review of some long sleeved, snap button shirts that have plaid patterns. I would love to say that it is a review of performance flannel wear, but it is not. If you want to gain some perspective into how roundly abused the phrase “performance flannel” may be, just google those two words. The scroll is (seemingly) endless.

Two: None of the garments here are REAL flannel shirts. REAL flannel has wool in it, and therefore there are arguments that can be made in favor of the suitability of REAL flannel as a performance garment that insulates, wicks, and doesn’t inadvertently try to kill you when said garment gets wet and the weather is cold.

Three: There are no REAL flannel garments in this roundup, because REAL flannel shirts tend to cost upward of $150. And I am a cheapskate. But if you want some high quality, legit performance, REAL flannel, then you should check out the stuff Wes Siler wrote about in this Outside article. Me? I’m gonna wait until I either win the lottery or Kitsbow decides to take pity on me and send something for free.

Four: While the shirts featured here are not real flannel, they are all plaid, all long-sleeved, and they all utilize snap buttons.

Five: I live in a part of California where temps regularly get into the triple digit Fahrenheit range, and the days that it is cold and wet during the year can be safely counted without running out of fingers. As such, cotton has a role to play here. Your mileage (I’m looking at you, British Columbia) will almost certainly vary.

Six: Very few of these garments work all that well once the weather gets above 70 degrees, even though none of them will be the shirt you’ll reach for when it is time to survive the freeze of the century either.

All that said, why, then, am I wasting the screen time writing about using snap button long sleeve plaid shirts as riding attire? Good question. I will attempt to answer it as concisely as possible without drifting too far into the style weeds. Here goes:

See what I did there? Tried to somehow conflate conservative practicality with fashion? Ah well. It was worth a shot.

The Slow Disintegration Into Athleisure

A long time ago, I rode everywhere as fast as I possibly could. That activity generated a huge amount of body heat and I was totally committed to wearing skintight Lycra because it worked real well at helping shed all that heat. It also could be layered with other performance plasticwear that helped wick moisture and kept me warm in those other times when I needed to retain some of that heat so that I wouldn’t die of hypothermia. I was also a big fan of wool during these cold weather missions, and still have a good stash of Merino base layers as well as jerseys for those rare occasions when I have to ride in conditions that might trend toward hypothermic.

At some point I slowed down, and have continued slowing down ever since. And nowadays, I find my desire to protect my skin from the sun (and the poison oak) is greater than my need to shed massive amounts of body engine heat. I also sometimes like to stop for a coffee or a beer during or returning from a ride. I am increasingly aware that I do not look quite as svelte as I once did in a skinsuit, and that even at my leanest, rocking the full superhero outfit is a look that I no longer feel comfortable sporting in a supermarket.

Wanna know what look I AM comfortable sporting at the supermarket, or anywhere else this side of all those red carpet galas to which I somehow never find myself invited? Plaid. Long sleeve, blend in everywhere, plaid. It would seem that there are some cycling apparel companies who share this sensibility. So, what I am doing here is showcasing a few of them, talking about what they are made of and how they fit and what their general “stink or die” aspect ratio is, as well as throwing in a thrift store recommendation that any sane person should have in their wardrobe whether riding or not.

Please don’t take this as an endorsement of any of the following garments in terms of their performative superiority to anything. This is less about performance, and more about “fa-fa-fa-fashion (turn to the left)”. And I am just as unqualified to talk about fashion as I am survival-ready gear. Also, please bear in mind that the imagery that follows is not suitable for sensitive viewers, and may possibly redefine what was once considered the outer limits of Resting Bitch Face imagery.

Wrangler Long Sleeve Fashion Western

May as well start with the thrift store classic, the standard bearer, the snap-button king. This is a hardy, light, poly-cotton blend shirt that costs about $30 from Wrangler, or can be found for less than $20 at a ton of online outlet stores, or can be approximated for under $10 at just about any thrift store on the continent. Much as I am an advocate of full 100% cotton for summer heat, getting it light enough without the fabric falling apart as soon as you snag a tree branch or take a soil sample can be difficult, and it seems that the poly-cotton blends, or the blends with a tiny bit of Lycra in them, tend to be available in lighter weights and also hold up to abuse a little bit better than straight cotton. And the blends probably breathe better, too. This is my thrift store-sourced summertime go-to shirt. I Like the way Wranglers generally fit, and this particular 55/45 cotton/poly blend will perform decently up into the low 80s before my sweat response goes into overdrive. And damn, don't those faux mother of pearl snaps gleam so sweetly?

Wrangler snaps seem to be consistently solid performers, and these are generally what I seek out during thrift store crawls. There are a ton of other snap button brand options, but I can’t vouch for them. If you want to get the lightest weight, most breathable fabric possible in a long sleeve shirt, however, you may have to ditch the snaps. When it comes to super light long sleeves, you’ll be looking at more polyester in the fabric, and buttons. If I’m trolling for super hot weather long-sleeves, my secret trick is to try and breathe through the shirt. More resistance means less breathability. I am pretty certain this will also get you kicked out of most stores if you get caught doing it, so, fair warning. Hell, in Utah they’ll probably arrest you.

This shirt pictured ranks low on the stink factor, probably high on the “die of hypothermia” factor, and is at the pinnacle of the affordability index. Made in Bangladesh.

Pearl Izumi Rove Flannel

Okay, so even though it’s 100% polyester twill, and my own desire to move away from petrochemical clothing is what led me to long sleeve snap button shirts in the first place, I loooove this shirt. It is soft and comfy like a favorite pair of pajamas, and light enough that it can perform solid three-season ride duty either with a base layer or without. The fit is on the slim side, but it doesn’t bind or feel too much like sausage casing. It’s so damn comfortable, and surprisingly abrasion resistant. I like this shirt much more than I expected I would, and it ends up being a solid go-to top for any ride below 65 degrees. There is one snap pocket on the chest, a couple understated color flair touches, and no other bells or whistles. Basic, well cut, super bomber stitching throughout, nicely made.

Stink factor gets up there with this one since it is full polyester, but it’s no worse than any other full polyester garment, and still nowhere near as rough as the olfactory choking death scent that polypropylene can induce. Consequently, the “die of hypothermia” factor is likely much lower than straight cotton. Affordabilitywise, it comes with a Pearl Izumi price tag of around $92, placing it roughly in the middle of the spectrum between a $200 Kitsbow and a $10 thrift store Wrangler. Made in Vietnam. (In a crushing blow to my credibility, it looks like the plaid pattern has been discontinued on the Rove, supplanted by “Toffee Blanket Stripe”. Sigh)

Club Ride Shaka Flannel

Club Ride can probably safely lay claim to the title of “Athleisure Pioneers”, given that they have been pushing the business-casual aesthetic in performance cycling wear longer than just about anyone else. The Shaka has been a staple in that lineup, and is a solid cool weather piece of kit. Once again, we’re looking at an entirely synthetic fabric garment; in this case 97% polyester and 3% Lycra, but there are a ton of rider-specific touches that make this a standout. Touches? Yes, touches! Sunglass wipey thing at the bottom hem, zipper pockets (one down low, one up on the chest), vented armpits and a very slight overall stretchiness all contribute to the ride functionality of the Shaka.

Since it is very close to the Pearl Izumi Rove in price (at $89.95, per the Club Ride website), some comparisons are inevitable. The Shaka shares the same thermal profile as the Rove, and I don’t generally wear it in temps much above 65 degrees. The fabric on the Shaka is less cuddly comfy, but might be tougher. This is definitely a shirt that I prefer to wear with a base layer. Stitching seems cleaner and more robust on the Rove, but the Shaka packs in more cycling specific features. Once again, high stink/low “die of hypothermia” index, mid-price curve, made in India. Club Ride is also offering a new, lighter faux-flannel that I haven’t tried yet called the “Go Long Shirt”, utilizing a 100-gram, 95/5 poly/Lycra blend fabric (as opposed to the 155-gram, 97/3 blend of the Shaka), that should perform dramatically better in warmer temperatures.

Cognative Technical Flannel

Cognative is a relatively new outfit hailing from North Carolina, who pledges to donate 2% of every sale to trail based initiatives. Currently, Cognative is partnered with 10 different organizations and has a decidedly southeastern bent, but a growing base of connections that is beginning to take root further west as well. As for the shirt, this is another 97/3 poly/spandex garment. In theory that would mean it feels a lot like the Club Ride Shaka. In practice, the Cognative Technical Flannel is a substantially heavier weave, and as such feels like its own shirt entirely. Being heavier in weight than either the Pearl Izumi or Club Ride offerings means a couple things: One, it’ll probably handle a ton of abuse. Two, this is definitely one for the colder months.

The cut is more of a relaxed fit than the slightly more sportily tailored competition, the stitching is simple and clean, and the only concession to any sort of bell-and-whistlery is a single, open topped pocket over the heart. Oh, wait, almost forgot. The Technical Flannel also has a couple built-in sleeve roll-up holder straps. I’ve never quite understood why those exist, since I thought the purpose of rolling sleeves up was that the rolling up itself was enough to keep the sleeves rolled up. But it seems lots of shirts out there have them, and so does this one. High stink, low “die of hypothermia” index, currently on sale for a comparative bargain at $44.95, made in China.

Riding Into The Plaid Sunset

You’ll note some similarities in all of the garments above. Poly/stretchy blends on three of them, and Indo-Asian manufacture for the lot. Neither of these are things I can get really excited about. But by that same token, I can’t really get excited about $200 shirts made in the US that are just as likely to get ripped open by Manzanita branches as a $10 thrift store Wrangler. But, that said, there are very compelling reasons to want REAL flannel with wool in it for fall/winter/spring use, and there are very sound reasons for wanting to wear well-made shirts that occupy a much smaller manufacturing/supply chain footprint and don’t raise any uncomfortable human rights/working conditions questions. Unfortunately, choosing wool performance and home continent ethics carries a premium price tag.

Of the checkerboard contenders in my closet, I tend to reach for the Pearl Izumi nine times out of ten when the temps are below 65, and the Wrangler when the sun is shining and the sweat is sweating. And in the meantime I suck it up, accept that life involves compromise, and keep my eyes peeled at the thrift store for unicorn Pendleton wool flannels. I hope Ray Davies is on board with that.